


A Little Less Seventies, A Little More Modern AU

by whovianmuse



Category: That '70s Show
Genre: 1990's, Alternate Universe, F/M, Gen, Modern, Modern AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 02:30:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7416055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whovianmuse/pseuds/whovianmuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A modern AU where the characters from That 70's Show grew up in the 90's instead. Ship focus is Jackie x Hyde. The title for this fic was inspired by the song <i>A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me</i> by Fall Out Boy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little Less Seventies, A Little More Modern AU

1\. Hyde hates smartphones. As far as he’s concerned, his basic little off-brand flip phone is more than enough. Sure, it’s kinda mucked up from sticker residue, and one of the speakers only works if you turn it on its side, and it’s being held together by hastily reapplied glue, and it’s a bit broken and bent along the edges and scratched to all hell, but hey, it’s his little piece of shit phone, and he’s kinda grown attached to it. The way he sees it, as long as he can still call someone to come pick him up if his car ever breaks down, or send them a quick text to let them know about a party happening later that night, then he’s golden, because that’s pretty much all a phone is good for. That is, until Jackie buys him his first iPhone.

 

2\. Which he promptly drops, two weeks later, in the middle of Eric’s driveway. The screen is done for, spiderweb cracks edging out across all four corners, sad little lights blinking feebly from behind the shattered glass. The gang spends a good twenty minutes staring down at it in abject horror. Kelso loses his shit and laughs until he passes out. Donna writes him a eulogy. After that, he doesn’t take his phone anywhere without its bulky, all-encompassing (hot pink) Otterbox case.

 

3\. A few days after everyone had pestered him to download the app, Hyde concludes that Snapchat is only meant for two things: receiving naughty naked photos from your ridiculously hot girlfriend, and sending close-ups of your drunken ass to your unsuspecting friends, who will definitely need a serious dose of brain bleach.

 

4\. Jackie is constantly complaining that Hyde is stuck in the 90’s, and won’t hesitate to use the phrase “nineties trash” when describing him. That doesn’t mean she won’t flail and screech like a banshee whenever a Powerpuff Girls rerun comes on. (Hyde likes Buttercup the best.)

 

5\. Hyde is pretty sure that Furbies are the devil incarnate; a fact that’s only proven further the day he finds one buried under a pile of clothes at the bottom of Jackie’s closet. Its batteries have corroded, and when it speaks, it sounds like an eighty-year-old chain-smoker. The damn thing battles him all the way down the garbage disposal.

 

6\. Jackie buys Hyde an iPod for Christmas one year, and despite her constant badgering, he refuses to get a case for it. But that’s only because, after the incident with the iPhone that she’ll never ever let him forget for as long as he lives, he babies the fuck out of it. Three years in, and it doesn’t have a single scratch. He’s quite proud.

 

7\. To Hyde, pop is the death of music, and boy bands make him want to die. And no, of course he doesn’t roll his eyes and fight a smile whenever Jackie turns up the stereo in her car and sings along (badly, so very, very badly,) to whatever song she’s currently obsessed with.

 

8\. Which reminds him. One time, Jackie played Pompeii on repeat for a month straight, and Hyde nearly threw her laptop out the window. He has to admit, though…she looks pretty damn fine sleeping next to him in her Bastille concert t-shirt.

 

9\. Jackie loves Taylor Swift.

And Starbucks.

And Uggs.

_Ugh. Kill him now._

ETA: her obsession with yoga pants and form-fitting leggings is perfectly fine by him, though.

 

10\. Jackie’s usual Starbucks order is so ridiculously complicated that Hyde is pretty sure half the shit she’s rattling off to the barista isn’t even a real language. Non-fat skinny decaf soy vegan chai latte mocha frap…what the actual _fuck_? He memorizes it eventually anyway, and surprises her with a…a venti, he thinks they’re called…at the end of one of her shifts.

 

11\. Hyde is fairly certain that Jackie would go on a murderous rampage if Starbucks ever ran out of pumpkin spice lattés. (Cue Eric whispering _basssssssiiiiiiic_ whenever she walks in clutching a coffee cup decorated with autumn leaves and smiling pumpkins.)

 

12\. It’s tradition for the gang to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas every year around Halloween. It is absolutely _not_ tradition for Hyde to dress up as Jack and Sally with Jackie for the couples’ costume contest at the school dance. He doesn’t care how short Jackie’s dress is, how cool her makeup looks, or how great he _might_ look in that pinstripe suit she’d bought him just for the occasion. He finally stops bitching about it after they win first place.

 

13\. Jackie should _not_ be this good at Halo. Seriously. Took her all of three days to beat his kill/death ratio.

 

14\. MTV broke Hyde’s heart the day they stopped being an actual music channel, and started broadcasting stupid teenage dramas instead. But Jackie loves Teen Wolf, and if curling up beside her and streaming the newest episode will make her happy, then he’s willing to suck it up and deal with an hour of bad dialogue and excessive shirtlessness. (But if you ever tell anyone that he cried when Allison Argent died, he’ll kick your ass.)

 

15\. Jackie gets extremely disappointed whenever she takes a _Which Character From Friends Are You?_ quiz on Buzzfeed, and doesn’t get Rachel.

 

16\. Eric changes the wifi password at least once a week just to fuck with Hyde. He finally stops the day Hyde figures out how to hack into their network and changes the name to “Eric Forman’s Personal Porn Hub.”

 

17\. One time, a debate about how to properly pronounce GIF turns into an all-out battle, rife with peanut butter smack cam pranks and giftwrapped cars. They’d never seen Red so furious.

 

18\. Donna and Jackie are pretty much convinced that the only reason the boys watch Game Of Thrones is for the sex scenes. That is, until they see all the dragons and badass queens. Jackie dresses up like Daenerys for Halloween that year, walks around saying, “You know nothing, Steven Hyde,” and won’t stop calling Donna a wildling.

 

19\. Hyde complains about Firefly and Futurama getting cancelled. Eric has a toy model of Serenity on display in his bedroom that Kelso has broken twice. Fez starts saying, “Bite my shiny metal ass,” on the regular. Donna smacks Eric and Hyde in the back of the head every time they call her Leela.

 

20\. Eric calls everyone who disappoints him a stupid muggle. Jackie glares daggers at Eric every time he refers to her as Voldemort. Hyde still has no idea what the hell a Hufflepuff even is.

 

21\. Hyde binge-watches his way through eleven seasons of Supernatural. Dean Winchester is pretty much his fictional idol, and Eric and Kelso are always fighting over who gets to be Sam (even though Kelso still doesn’t get why Hyde keeps calling him _Moose_.) His shirt collection is comprised almost entirely of plaid flannels now (which Jackie steals and wears to sleep,) and he’s been saving up for the past year to buy his own ’67 Chevy Impala. Sometimes, Jackie watches it with him, but only because she thinks Jensen Ackles is hot. Mostly, she just curls into his side and steals his popcorn, watches through the gaps between her fingers and buries her face into his chest during the scary parts. Then she claims she has to stay the night, because she’s too frightened to go home and sleep by herself. Hyde takes absolutely no issue with this.

 

22\. Jackie Burkhart is the queen of Instagram. At least, that’s what she calls herself. There is photographic evidence of nearly every meal she eats, every Starbucks drink she orders, every piece of jewelry, every new pair of shoes, every outfit-of-the-day, every winged eyeliner “so sharp it could kill a man” close-up that highlights the flecks of gold in her eyes. (And the selfies. _Oh my god, the selfies_. If Hyde hears the word “selfie” one more time, he’ll lose his goddamn mind.) But mostly, among the digital scrapbook of shopping sprees and poolside or beach-bound humble-brags, there are photos of her and Hyde. Tons of them. Granted, he isn’t smiling in the majority of them, and the ones where he is are candid and out of focus…but as much as he makes fun of her for it, as much as he’ll pout and protest every time there’s a camera phone shoved in his face, he’ll never push her away when she wants to take another picture, because…honestly? It’s actually kind of nice having someone who cares enough to want to keep taking them. That, and the fact that she’s more than willing to show him off to her 2k followers is kind of flattering.

 

23\. The worst day of Hyde’s life is the day that Jackie discovers Pinterest. He knows there’s a wedding board on there somewhere. He just chooses to ignore it.

 

24\. After creating an account for him, despite his many protests, Jackie gets upset when Hyde won’t change his Facebook status to “In A Relationship.” Hyde says that it’s just because he’s lazy, and doesn’t like labels, and bores Jackie to tears with a rant about cheapening the relationship by broadcasting it on social media, and how hashtags are corrupting his generation. He eventually compromises by changing his profile photo to one of them kissing at last year’s Christmas party. Jackie can’t stop smiling.

 

25\. One time, Jackie gets a hold of Hyde’s phone, scrolls through his contacts, and changes her name to “Future Wifey.” Five years later, he still hasn’t changed it back. Granted, it doesn’t need to say “future” anymore.


End file.
